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I love Absalom, really.
He is often called Absalom, “the Usurper;” although a technically correct descriptor or “epithet,” there is so much more to his story than the mutiny he staged against his father, King David, one of the most popular characters in Scripture. I’m not interested in criticizing David or his leadership. However, as part of my defense of Absalom, I’ll take an honest look at one aspect of David’s character: his parenting. A bit of impartiality will help us better understand Absalom’s behavior.
My personal favorite subject of the series “My Favorite Biblical Anti-Heroes” is found mostly in the book of 2 Samuel, where in Chapter 13, he is described simply as the son of David and brother of Tamar. (13:1) In that same chapter, we encounter Absalom’s half-brother Amnon and witness a fly-on-the-wall perspective of him conspiring with his cousin, Jonadab, to rape Tamar, his half-sister. (13:5-6) An attack that he carried out effortlessly because of his privilege as another of the King’s sons.
The plan was simple enough: devise a scheme to bring Tamar into Amnon’s presence without raising suspicions. At face value, though, what he asked for was pretty peculiar. A sick man needed a young woman to feed him from her hand.
Hmmm.
No ancient tradition or otherwise suggests this ritual might cure an illness. I looked it up. And yet, apparently, without giving much thought, David granted Amnon’s wishes, not noticing any red flags.
Absalom noticed.
Something just didn’t feel right.
Maybe he had heard of his half-brother's sketchy request through the grapevine, or perhaps Tamar mentioned it in passing, but Absalom sensed something was off. While he couldn't pinpoint the exact issue, he seems to have been unsettled enough to be on high alert while his sister was at Amnon's palace. Admittedly, this is conjecture, and any number of scenarios are possible, but assuming Absalom's unease provides a logical explanation for his quick thinking as Tamar made her way home.
A little about Tamar.
We read few details about her—only that she was Absalom’s sister, beautiful, and the King’s daughter with a distinctive wardrobe. Her special outer garment symbolized high status, innocence, and eligibility for marriage. Merely by her clothes, Tamar would have been recognized and honored as the King’s virgin daughter.
We also know that her half-brother succeeded in his plan to take her by force.
There’s not enough space here to go over the entirety of Tamar’s ordeal at the hands of Amnon. To be fair, I don’t have the heart to dredge it up, and the details aren’t pertinent to the focus of this essay. I would, however, like to dig a little deeper into the immediate aftermath of that assault and explore the long-term impact of those events. We’ll pick up right after the attack.
17 He (Amnon) called his personal servant and said, “Get this woman out of my sight and bolt the door after her.” 18 So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing an ornate robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. 19 Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went.
—2 Samuel 13:17-19, New International Version
He would have heard her first, crying loudly and inconsolably, then seen the state she was in—visibly distraught, hands on her head, hair covered in ash, her outer covering torn and hanging off her shoulders, revealing the plain garment underneath. Never had robes been so sincerely torn; due to Amnon’s crime, she would never wear them again.
Absalom instantly understood what had happened.
Searching for a comforting response, he pulled her into his home, saying, “… Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart….” (13:20)
But of course, Tamar took “this thing” to heart. How could she not? She is described thereafter as "a desolate woman” (13:20), a woefully inadequate characterization, barely scratching the surface of her suffering. Not only was she forced to grapple with the trauma and physical pain of the unexpected ambush, but she would also have begun to realize that her once-promising future had vanished into thin air. With her virginity ripped away from her, she was robbed of any prospect for marriage, motherhood, and every security an ancient Israeli woman might have hoped for in one fell selfish swoop. Amnon stole all this from his own sister and the King’s daughter.
David’s response was anger, then… nothing.
21 When King David heard all this, he was furious.
—2 Samuel 13:21, New International Version
And that's all—no mention in Scripture of any further action. Despite being aware of his daughter's violation at the hands of his eldest son, David chose not to punish Amnon. I’ll concede he was in a terrible position. On one hand, his daughter was “ruined,” according to the prevailing morals of that era. On the other, Amnon was his firstborn, or bechor,1 and enjoyed significant privileges among his brothers, including a double portion of the inheritance and evidently the special affection of his father.
While first-born privileges might not always be appreciated in the modern West, it's often overlooked that they came with important responsibilities and obligations in the ancient Middle East, such as continuing his father's profession and, ironically, in Amnon’s case, caring for his unmarried sisters. *
I’m not excusing David; he dismissed his daughter in favor of his son.
A labor of love.
Absalom, however, did everything in his power to support Tamar. With no hope of establishing her own household, he brought Tamar into his own—a safe haven and a source of financial stability. When his wife bore them a daughter, he named the girl Tamar, giving his sister a namesake (14:27), the closest she would come to having a child. Despite his best efforts, she remained despondent.
Justice delayed is justice denied.
For two long years, a devoted brother witnessed her despair—730 days, day in, day out. (13:23) Her loss was ever in view, a reminder that their father, the most powerful man in the land, refused to hold the guilty party accountable. At a minimum, Amnon should have been banished from the Kingdom (Leviticus 20:17). Adding insult to injury, David's inaction may have given the community the wrong idea, as though Tamar had consented to an affair with Amnon, perhaps tarnishing her character.
Unwilling to wait any longer for his sister’s vindication, Absalom took matters into his own hands and killed his half-brother. (13:28-29) In my opinion, he was driven by the unbearable injustice of Amnon “getting away with it” while Tamar continued to suffer.
I’m not excusing Absalom, either; I’m simply suggesting a logical framework for what came next.
The conspiracy.
2 He (Absolom) would get up early and stand by the side of the road leading to the city gate. Whenever anyone came with a complaint to be placed before the king for a decision, Absalom would call out to him, “What town are you from?” He would answer, “Your servant is from one of the tribes of Israel.” 3 Then Absalom would say to him, “Look, your claims are valid and proper, but there is no representative of the king to hear you.” 4 And Absalom would add, “If only I were appointed judge in the land! Then everyone who has a complaint or case could come to me and I would see that they receive justice.”
5 Also, whenever anyone approached him to bow down before him, Absalom would reach out his hand, take hold of him and kiss him. 6 Absalom behaved in this way toward all the Israelites who came to the king asking for justice, and so he stole the hearts of the people of Israel.
—2 Samuel 15:2-6, New International Version
Sometime after the death of Amnon and his own three-year exile, Absalom orchestrated what appears to have been a political campaign, using the methods of a modern-day presidential candidate glad-handing potential voters. Although we know Israel was an absolute monarchy, not a democracy, his platform was crystal clear: Justice.
Contrary to the motives often assigned to him, I don’t believe Absalom’s actions flowed from an insatiable lust for power. Before the harm done to Tamar, nothing in Scripture suggests that he harbored any ambition to move up in line as heir to the King. I believe he no longer trusted the King to dispense justice for his Kingdom. After all, David hadn’t provided any for his family—a visible, nearly tangible, moral failure.
Greater than the sum of its parts.
Too often, Absalom’s rebellion is treated as a standalone story, seemingly disconnected from the assault perpetrated against Tamar. I disagree. I believe her experience and the utter void of consequences were the hinges on which subsequent events would swing.
Every single negative turn in this narrative began with Amnon. Yet, he’s been almost erased as the mitigating factor in Absalom’s conduct. If we were to list the culpable in order, we ought to start with him, far and away. David comes in second—his daughter was destroyed, and he did nothing. Absalom takes his share for his hostile takeover, and Tamar takes none at all.
Tamar, incidentally, has also been all but erased, leaving us to ponder a nonsensical mutiny perpetrated by a once-beloved son for no apparent reason.
Absalom, the Usurper?
Shouldn’t Amnon have an epithet? Can we label him Amnon, the Predator? Perhaps we could add an asterisk to David’s descriptor, the Man After God’s Own Heart. Though he inspires me more often than not, regarding this chapter, it feels dishonest to whitewash his part.
If those changes won’t stick, can we at least reframe Absalom?
Absolom, the Great… Brother sounds just right.
That’s all I’ve got for today. If you like what you’ve read, please subscribe.
Bye for now.
I love, love, love your insights! You’re providing a new perspective on uncomfortable biblical narratives. After each of your articles, I feel a relief because your thoughts and research make so much sense. I appreciate your courage to share your work.
Kathleen....I love this one! What excellent insight for me to chew on regarding Absalom. Thank you!